I am going to blob to myself and you are going to let me know if I am making any sense. So I am lying in bed, and again head full of thoughts, and they are usually result of talking to someone on the phone or in person, or watching TV, or listening to a radio, and then analyzing - at least that's me. This one is just simple one, which came to my mind out of nowhere. How many times did you hear simple expression like 'I Told You So'. Well, I think when we were children, then you probably heard this from your parents or grandparents. So I guess when you are kid, you do know less, and if you do something wrong, and you been asked to do it right way, sometimes mom will slip in 'I told you so'. We cannot argue this for children and sometimes even now when we older, because our ignorance sometimes make us to make bad choices. However, for some other situations 'I told you so' should be rephrased.
Here are my thoughts - not very long I hope. Suppose I am on my way for a job interview and even everything went well afterwards - never know may be someone else had even better interview and they will get a job. Statistically it is fifty-fifty rule, I get the job or I don't get the job. And then if there is a population of ten candidates, I only have ten percent chance to get the job. The life does not ends here if I don't get the job, because I can move on and explore other opportunities. Suppose I did get the job. I get home, and first thing I hear, 'I told you so'. I know whoever said this means well, but I think it will be better to say - 'Congratulations, and when do you start?' or 'It felt like you will get this job', I suppose. The flaw I see is this. The person who said 'I told you so', to me at least, is taking a credit.
I don't' have a real conclusion for this one, because I do myself stupid things sometimes because of my ignorance (yes, I am not perfect) and if I listened to someone the stupid thing would have been the right thing, and may be the 'I told you so' phrase is the right for that moment. But I think that the 'I told you so' phrase for kids, should be rephrased to 'Let's try right next time', because as we grow this phrase becomes misused, just like 'ASAP' (as soon as possible) doesn't really mean 'now'. Start from the source.
[JUST BLOBBING]
Hi! I have given my children advise when perhaps they didn't want it. I know this to be true as I get that look straight back telling me so. So yes, I am guilty but I only want the best for them.
ReplyDeleteI should have perhaps, as I poorly attempt to do now, kept my mouth shut and just listened to them get it all out before saying a thing that may be construed as being negative. I continue to live and learn. I try to think before I speak!
Regards
Peter
Oh Anna what a thought! you really have an active imagination I also don't like the "I told you " stuff. so I try to advice and wait for the outcome, if it works out good... if it doesnt ok.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post again nice one I must say, thanks for the comment on the new look of the blog to God be the Glory.
God bless
"I told you so." should only be used if it's followed with a, "Nanner, Nanner, Nanner!"
ReplyDeleteHello Anna,
ReplyDeleteI like it when you blob (I think I have said this before lol) :).
Let's see:
When we are kids parents do tell us not to do a certain thing and then when we do it just the same, and mess up, they say "didn't I tell you?/I told you so!". But I think that we have to go through all this process, it is part of growing, isn't it? So, when I hear my mom saying "I told you so" I know it was another lesson I had to learn.
About the job example (which I found exquisite), the only person who could ever tell you "I told you so" would be a psychic, or a Tarot reader if they had told you "you will get the job", you doubted it and then in the end be surprised to see that they were right.
As for the others...all they could say is "Congrats: when will you start?" and all the other sentences you referred to :).
Loved this post too, Anna (congrats)!
Cheers
Peter, I don't think there is wrong or right thing to do. Every kid and every one of us is different, situations are different, you just have to tune yourself and listen, and do whatever is right. I think you have done wonderful job with your three boys, and I don't think you need to worry about being guilty. I have said and done things in life that may be I am not proud of also, but then we cannot dwell on it, just move on and possibly change, as you said 'I continue to live and learn', is in fact wise statement. Peter thank you for your insights in this post, appreciated, Anna :)
ReplyDeletechannelofhealing, yes my imagination is really active, I think it is good for me, just keeps my brain exercised. Thanks for your input in this matter, and again you have done wonderful job with your blog recently. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteJeff b, lol and thanks for your comment and visit. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteHi Max, thank you for your insight. Like I told Peter there is no right or wrong way. I think we should really tune to our kids needs because each of them is different. What you said is as much right too? I have two sisters and one brother, and I tell you each of us is totally different, but we would sometimes all get same treatment if we did something wrong, and as I watched sometimes, four different outcomes. Some of us moved on and ignored it, and some of us took it and used this phrase on others without thinking. I think you Max are naturally smart and you just know what your mom meant, and your mom knew that you understood too. And the job example, thanks for supporting it with your comment, it is absolutely right answer, only physic would be able to say that. Max thank you again for your insights to this post, and my next stop is LS blog, as I am still trying to figure out his last Faces of December post, as you seemed to know what you talking about, lol. It was probably late night for me, I see you around. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteHello Anna,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you when you say that parents should tune in to their kids. However I do understand that it may not be such an easy task as it seems *nodding*.
"I think that you are naturally smart" - lol you are being kind, Anna :). I wish I were though :). However I can say that I understood what my mom meant, indeed :).
You are so much welcome, my dear; I love giving examples...it's easier.
lol lol LS's article is extremely interesting. When I started reading it I was laughing my eyes out...he's brilliant, what can I say?
I see you around :).
Cheers
Anna, "I told you so" does take the fizzle out of the victory. A pat on the back would make the victor feel great about his or her achievement.
ReplyDeleteSometimes "I told you so" comes across as "I know more than you."
Hugs, JJ
Max I really think that parenting isn't really easy work, as kids grow parents learn too. I think one day may be we can exchange notes, on life before and after parenting, and our views, lol.
ReplyDeleteMax, I am not kind, lol, I am just saying what I see through your writings. Smart can have many definitions, and I respect every knowledge that people have.
Yes I think I finally made it back for LS articles, while you were laughing, I was pulling my hair out, lol, trying to provide him with educated comment, but then I am not going to just pretend what I know. For me it was challenging post, just like being on Survivor, but hey, what can you do, lol. Thanks to your comment I saw some logic beyond his thinking. Yeah and I see you around. Anna :)
JJ thanks for your comment. And you are absolutely right about the 'I know more than you', and I find this coming out from people who only see in one direction. Oh well, we are not all perfect. Thanks for your feedback again and your visits are always appreciated. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteAnna,
ReplyDelete"I really think that parenting isn't really easy work, as kids grow parents learn too." - I agree with you. I think that parents must learn a lot from their kids. However there are those parents that think that they don't have anything to learn from their kids, and then we have the less agreable parents *nodding*.
"I think one day may be we can exchange notes, on life before and after parenting, and our views, lol." - absolutely, let's do that :).
"Max I am not kind, lol" - LOL I also say that to people :).
"Smart can have many definitions, and I respect every knowledge that people have." - then, thank you, dear *bowing*. I learn a lot from people, that is why I like interacting with them: they are a book of life :)!
"Yes I think I finally made it back for LS articles, while you were laughing, I was pulling my hair out, lol, trying to provide him with educated comment, but then I am not going to just pretend what I know." - I hear you :). I laugh when I find people interesting...I just rejoice at interesting beings...you are one of them :).
"For me it was challenging post, just like being on Survivor, but hey, what can you do, lol. Thanks to your comment I saw some logic beyond his thinking. Yeah and I see you around. Anna :) " - a good challenge is food to the mind; and LS is great at feeding our intellect lol :). I am glad to see that my comment served for a useful purpose besides amusing LS and myself lol :).
I see you around, Anna :)
Cheers
Thanks for blobbing
ReplyDeleteIs there a song that goes: "So don't come round here, and tell me I told you so..."
Thanks Max for your comment, and you are again absolutely right, parents from family to family can be a lot different. And have different methods how they treat children. I will throw you one for example. Me and my sister since we are 1.5 year apart, as kids we used to play together a lot, the difference was that we were both like night and a day, and physically too, she is blonde and me brunette, she was wild and me more quite. So the wild one would get in trouble more than me, however, equal punishment, where I sometimes I wonder what I did wrong, and because my parents method was to punish us both, I just accepted (don't worry it wasn't violent, lol). Till years later, I realized, and I guess when I was older, I was able to resist more. But then on my husband's side, he was also the quite one from his brother, however, his parents would punish individually. I am not sure, but I think any technique would have some benefit to it. Not sure what my parent's in law reasoning was - which I think is the right one or better one, but my parents reason was (knowing my sister) keep us together so she does not point fingers that they like me more or something like that. You know how some kids can be. I don't really agree with this methods. Oh well, they still love us both (and all of us - 4) the same, and that's what matters now.
ReplyDeleteYes LS is great, and yes he is very flexible when comes to blogging, so I will take it easy, and never know may be I will join your debate one day. BTW this is very nicely said by you: 'I learn a lot from people, that is why I like interacting with them: they are a book of life :)!'
Take care for now, Anna :)
kriz thanks for visiting this side of me, lol.
ReplyDelete"Is there a song that goes: "So don't come round here, and tell me I told you so..." - may be there is one, and I don't know about it - I guess by the time we finish blobbing about I told you so, I will have all pieces of puzzle, lo. Thanks for your comments, it is appreciated. Anna :)
Anna,
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure :)! I see what you mean, Anna...parents have an awfull time raising kids cause they have to weight if they are favouring one child over another; and that must be a terrible burden *nodding*. When I was young I used to tell my mom that she was always defending my brother (who is younger than me, 2 years); but today (perhaps because I am thinking about having kids) I see that it must've been a terrible burden, to decide the level of punishment to apply....
Of course, since I was the older child my mom demanded more from me (I talk about my mom cause she was the one who raised us, my dad travelled a lot), cause she wanted me to be responsible (but also because in our family, African side, women are the ones who rule).
It is a hard task being a parent lol :).
I am sure your parents love you both very much :).
Please do join our debates; it will be our honour *bowing*. Whenever you are ready, let us know :).
Thank you, but it's true: I love people :)!
Take care, dear :).
Cheers
Well, don't know if you dug out the answer yet. Give you a big hint, that was a song by Sarah McLachlan(can't remember if it is Mc or Mac), released in the album After glow.
ReplyDeleteAnna,
ReplyDeleteGuess who was awarded, for all her kindness and friendship? Yes, you:
http://maxcouti.blogspot.com/2007/12/more-awards.html
Cheers
By the way: there's a problem with blogger!
ReplyDeleteOh Max that is so nice of you for this award. I have to tell you a real secret I cannot keep up, but I will definitely do it. Thanks again, Anna :)
ReplyDeleteBTW is there a problem with blogger in general, or my blogger. May be it is me, because I been moving things around, lol.
Oh now I know what is the problem, no wonder I am not getting any comments notifications from this morning. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteSeeking authorship of the phrase , " I told you so, I told you So , I told you SO !! " ( accentuaated and punctuated by the persistent poking of the finger in the chest ! )
ReplyDelete