Monday, February 4, 2008

Live & Learn From The Fish

Live and learn from the fish - what's this all about? This is a story for this post, and it is coincidental that it lines up with one of the posts form my blogger friend Kathy from Photography by KML blog, who has this really beautiful photo of her blue Beta fish - just in case you never seen this type of fish. The story is not just about the Beta fish, as you will find out. However, this is a fish with personality and fish that needs attention. Let say, I don't have any big pets in my house like a cat, dog or bird, and it is not because I don't like them, it is just I don't have the time to take care of them or spend time with them. About year ago, I did research on birds in captivity, and every article I read the emphasis was that you just don't put the bird in the cage and let it sit there, you really need to spend time with them and play, otherwise, they will get depressed, and eventually you know what happens, either the bird becomes really unfriendly or eventually moves on with other life.

I currently have two beta fish, one red and one blue. I find, and this is just my little statistics results, but the blue beta's are more friendly and more excited to see you when you around. Don't take this idea into your head, this is my opinion based on one red and two blue beta fish. You will agree, not a big population to have data on. However, lets move on with the story. Both beta fish are very exciting fish to have, they get excited when they see you, they like to eat and crunch their food, they try to jump out the tank - something you would not expect from the fish, at least something I would not expect from the fish.

These past few months, I have been busy, go to work, come from work, eat, rest, turn computer on and then rest for the night. Between, in the morning, I would quickly feed my betas, drop the food and leave. I know they get excited to see me every time, but I just have to run. Believe or not, sometimes I forget to change the water too. I admit, this is the side of me I don't like because I know if my fish is not getting attention, something is wrong, I am not managing my life properly, I am probably neglecting every one else around me, never know may be some bloggers feel like that to due to my reduced blogging visits.

The story continues, my negligence finally surfaced. Last week I noticed that the blue beta was behaving abnormally. The fins would not spread out as usual. The body was tilting to one side. I right away changed water, and really noticed that my healthy blue beta was sick now. It wasn't swimming, it wasn't eating, and even would not puff on his red beta friend. The red beta knew something also, because soon as I put two small tanks side by side, the red beta would not puff back on the blue one at all - would just rest on the rocks and look at his sick friend now. I said to myself, they are communicating. Suddenly I am different, I am very attentive, I am sad, I am angry that I neglected my fish. Now I am there every 15 minutes to check on him. He is weak, he tries to float but he cannot because his one side is tilting to one side. How do you safe fish, the worst comes to my mind, I lost my hope?

Its been few days now, and to my surprise the beta fish is getting better. It is still tilting to one side, but tries hard to get up and eat, and actually swims with excitement to see me. I am happy now, however, I definitely know that I failed, I failed to give my best to someone who always was excited to see me.

This is a story about fish. However, live and learn. I will not stress enough that our relationship with others need maintenance. When one gives you this carrying smile, please give it back. I gift that we have, and believe or not a gift animals have too.

Addition: After 2 weeks of suffering my blue beta fish died [February 16, 2008]. I know it is only fish, but I will miss him.

30 comments:

  1. Anna:

    Nice post. Plus you may be on to something.

    We ave a goldfish - one of those little guys you win at the county fair.

    He's an active little fish - swimming vigorously - eating well - really enjoying his new home. And just like you, we noticed that he would get very excited when we were paying attention to him.

    Then one day he slumped into a deep depression. Wouldn't play. Wouldn't eat. Our daughter also became very sad. They have a certain bond.

    So we all three began to make a big deal out of everything he did. We cleaned his tank regularly. We changed his filter. We fed him the good stuff from PetSmart. And low and behold he perked up. Now he's a happy little goldfish again.

    So, like I said, you may have stumbled onto something - the secret to fish happiness. You're truly a fish whisperer.

    Have a very nice day.

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  2. Anna, when we moved here, I had to sell my Koi (there were 10 years old and up) and it broke my heart. Now I have a lovely little red Beta and you're right, they do get excited to see you. I have mine in a one gallon tank with an airpump and we talk to him. His name is Mousha...my granddaughter named him, we don't know how she came up with the name, but we like it. I love fish and we will be putting in another Koi pond this spring...but we'll still love Mousha, too. I hope your Beta recovers fully. They do make a medicine for fin drop...I'd check out the local Pet store...he may need more than you're able to give him...
    Sandi

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  3. Anna:
    I am adding your blog to my list of Very Important Sites.

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  4. Anna, I hope your fish gets better. What a fascinating post!!!

    Hugs, JJ

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  5. Hi swubird, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I guess we all have underestimated that the fish need attention also. This is very interesting story, and I thank you for sharing with me. Anna :)

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  6. Hi Sandi, thanks for your comments, this is a lovely name for your beta fish. Believe or not I don't really have name for them, I just call them hey you, and they still respond, may be they think that their name by now is Heyou, lol. I must agree fish are fun. I actually never seen a Koi, but with the power of internet I will know about it in a matter of minutes. I will check out the pet stores for the medicine. The fish is still sick, but still opens the fins once it is getting attention. Now looks like it likes to rest sideways on the stone. Sometimes I think is gone, but no it is resting. Thanks again for your comments, and advice. Anna :)

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  7. Hey suwbird, it is such a honour. I will add you to this blog too. Thanks for being so loyal blogger visitor. Anna :)

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  8. Thanks JJ, I hope to. But my fear is that it is something wrong with his left side. He likes to rest on his side now. Still shows his affection when being fed. I put tank of the red beta beside him to keep him company, as I am out all day. They are now getting along. Thanks again, Anna :)

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  9. Hi! I read your article with great interest, as I see that it relates to human relationships as you have already stated.

    We all need the attention, care and love from the ones that are close to us. Without it our love and respect for each other can die.

    The human cage is found within the home. As with the fish, if one is neglected the wanting to move on can occur.

    Perhaps separation for some is a good idea. As it gives them time to analysis their situation.

    It reminds me of the saying, “You never know what you've got until it's gone.” But hopefully it will never come to that.

    Our lives are very busy and with most couples working to survive, there is very little time for play.

    It’s not until a crisis that we start to look at ourselves and say, “I can do better.” We just hope it’s not too late. But if one really cares and loves, it shouldn’t be a hurdle.

    The warning signs are quite visible if one takes the time to look. I’m now reminded of another saying, “It’s time to pull the finger out” and get on with repairing what has already been done.

    It doesn’t cost the earth to show someone that you care. Little things before big things go a long way to curing a sore and damaged heart.

    But having said that, it won’t happen overnight. A sustained and protracted effort is required to ensure a lifetime of happiness together.

    The anger and frustration that is caused by a damaged relationship takes time to overcome. That’s if, it can be overcome.

    But we can live in hope that our days together will be brighter than the ones before.

    We can hope and pray as much as we like but affirmative action does far better. Taking the time to really listen to each other and communicate properly is not a hard task. You only have to find the time and we have plenty of that.

    To finish up, I beta move along and practise what I preach!

    Take Care,
    Peter

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  10. Oh Anna - I am so glad he is feeling better. Don't be too hard on yourself - you have one of the biggest hearts around - sometimes these reminders we get can really eat at us. It is because you care so much that it bothers you so much. When my Betta was feeling poorly , I used something called Bettafix Remedy. It is drops that you put in the water over several days. It worked for mine. Mine passed away about a month ago, and as much as I would really like to have another one, I get too attached to them, and get too down when they pass on.

    Thanks for referring to my photo!

    Take care!
    Kathy

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  11. Hey Anna,

    This is indeed one of those posts that touch people's heart: congratulations :).

    I am glad to know that your fish is getting better, but what touched me the most was the fact that the two fishes get excited whenever they see you :D! It is so sweet *tender face*!

    Now, this story is a great analogy to life: if we neglect those who love us the most (be it family, friends, pets) they eventually become sick (not physically but in their heart, soul).
    I don't know if you have ever read the "Little Prince" by Saint Exupéry; but it is a book that teaches us that we are responsible for those we captivate; that is we are liable for caring for our friends, we must pay attention to them, we must offer them our shoulder every now and then. Of course, nowadays this is a bit hard to do on a daily basis (since we live in an era where we work more than 8 hours per day); however we must take a minute or two to ask our friends how they are, what is up in their life etc. It is very easy to neglect those we love...

    You said that if you were neglecting your fishes, it could be a sign that you are not managing your life properly...well, all I can say is that sometimes we come to a point in life when we just need to adjust. It happens to everybody (the Universe makes sure that we all come across with this terrible phase), but all we got to do, once we recognise our state, is to adjust, re-plan things....and things will come to balance again :D!

    Thanks for having shared this tale with us :D!

    Cheers

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  12. Oh Dear Anna, am so sorry about the fish hope and Pray it survives.
    I also understood that the story in this story is about care and love, that point noted but, would want you to know that you are a wonderful person. so don't feel bad at all, I know how you feel our Australian shepherd had a serious ear infection that he was taken to surgery 2 days ago and I know how terrible I felt that night he was away as if he was a human being. that life.
    we all get choked up atimes with "stuff" or as my husband and I put it... T H I N G S.
    Just don't let it get you down my Sis things will get better
    Godbless you in Jesus Mighty name Amen

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  13. Hi Peter, you always bring such inspirational points to all my posts. Thanks.

    Peter you said: 'We all need the attention, care and love from the ones that are close to us. Without it our love and respect for each other can die.' - absolutely true.

    Peter you said: 'It reminds me of the saying, “You never know what you've got until it's gone.” But hopefully it will never come to that.' - that is true too, and I am glad that my fish is on the way to recovery, it made me realize many things, I know it is only a fish, but hey it is living thing.

    Peter you said: 'Our lives are very busy and with most couples working to survive, there is very little time for play.' - this is true too, and this is why I do not get bigger pets in my house knowing that I will not be able to give them attention they need. I thought fish is different, but its all the same, even green plants need water and a little talk sometimes, lol.

    Peter you said: 'It’s not until a crisis that we start to look at ourselves and say, “I can do better.” We just hope it’s not too late. But if one really cares and loves, it shouldn’t be a hurdle.' - I think so too.

    Peter you said: 'It doesn’t cost the earth to show someone that you care. Little things before big things go a long way to curing a sore and damaged heart.' - I like this one. Thanks.

    Peter you said: 'But having said that, it won’t happen overnight. A sustained and protracted effort is required to ensure a lifetime of happiness together.' - it would be nice, but I prefer the long term relationship and long term cure too. You are absolutely right, nothing happens overnight.

    Peter you said: 'The anger and frustration that is caused by a damaged relationship takes time to overcome. That’s if, it can be overcome.' - the fish is doing better, and still gets excited, that is a good sign.

    Peter you said: 'We can hope and pray as much as we like but affirmative action does far better. Taking the time to really listen to each other and communicate properly is not a hard task. You only have to find the time and we have plenty of that.' - absolutely, I agree with you.

    Peter thank you for sharing, this was one of the best comments you ever wrote for me, mind you all are equally excellent. If I was writing life inspirations book I definitely would place your comment in, well done, thank you my friend.

    Anna :)

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  14. Hi Kathy, oh yes and better and better every day. I also moved him closer to the red beta, so he can have some interaction during the day. Life is amazing, I would never thought that it would recover like that, seeing the condition he was in. He practically would rest his had on the stone and look at me.

    Anything living thing, I get upset. I do care, and most of the time that is where the stress comes from. I know it is only a fish, but you know....

    Thanks for the info on the Bettafix, I will try to find it.

    Kathy you said: 'Mine passed away about a month ago, and as much as I would really like to have another one, I get too attached to them, and get too down when they pass on.' - hey I guess I am not the only one, lol.

    Thanks for sharing Kathy, and no problem with the link.

    Anna :)

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  15. Hi Max,

    Max you said: 'This is indeed one of those posts that touch people's heart: congratulations :)' - thank you my friend.

    Max you said: 'I am glad to know that your fish is getting better, but what touched me the most was the fact that the two fishes get excited whenever they see you :D! It is so sweet *tender face*!' - just like other pet, I never knew that before until I got one. Teaches you a lot about life and all living things around you.

    Max you said: 'Now, this story is a great analogy to life: if we neglect those who love us the most (be it family, friends, pets) they eventually become sick (not physically but in their heart, soul).' - you are absolutely right, for the fish scenario it was physical illness, but you are right about the heart and the soul.

    Max you said: 'I don't know if you have ever read the "Little Prince" by Saint Exupéry; but it is a book that teaches us that we are responsible for those we captivate; - no I did not, but may be I should, so lets say I will put on my list of things to do. Thanks for the info.

    Max you said: 'all I can say is that sometimes we come to a point in life when we just need to adjust. It happens to everybody (the Universe makes sure that we all come across with this terrible phase), but all we got to do, once we recognize our state, is to adjust, re-plan things....and things will come to balance again :D!' - Max very good point, and well said.

    Max and I thank you for providing such a inspirational comment to this post. All of you provided wonderful insights that I needed to think about, reflect, and may be change. Thanks.

    Anna :)

    PS these days never know, even fish can make the difference, lol.

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  16. Hi channelofhealing, thank you so much for your prayers and blessings. The fish is already getting better, may be not just my carrying, but all of you thinking about it brought it back to life.

    The human nature is wonderful, as we care so much for each other, it is nice to know that we also care for all the living things around us. Thank you for sharing story about your pet, and thinking about him as he was human, says the great things about you too.

    Channelofhealing you said 'we all get choked up atimes with "stuff" or as my husband and I put it... T H I N G S.' - yes you are right.

    Thanks for your lovely comment and support channelofhealing. Anna :)

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  17. Hi Anna,

    You are back! ;D

    "thank you my friend." - you are most welcome :D!

    "just like other pet, I never knew that before until I got one. Teaches you a lot about life and all living things around you." - indeed, it does! Well, I always had pets...since I was 2 years old (I guess my parents wanted me to learn how to care and be responsible for someone other than me...although I already had a baby brother).

    "you are absolutely right, for the fish scenario it was physical illness, but you are right about the heart and the soul." - well, physical sickness starts in the soul and then it manifests through the body. The thing is humans become less sick because they talk, they express their anger, disappointment etc...whereas animals, poor things, they can't talk so they become sick!

    "no I did not, but may be I should, so lets say I will put on my list of things to do. Thanks for the info." - my pleasure :D!

    "Max and I thank you for providing such a inspirational comment to this post. All of you provided wonderful insights that I needed to think about, reflect, and may be change. Thanks." - aah, you are trying to make us blush *tender face*! It is my pleasure to entertain such fascinating conversations with you *bowing*!

    "PS these days never know, even fish can make the difference, lol." - I hear you :D!

    Cheers, darling!

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  18. We have had betas in the past. I always used to joke that I liked the fact that they were cheap because, from the day we brought each one home, they just spent the next 6 months dying. At first they would eat, be happy to see you, etc., then after a few months they get slow and lose appetite and eventually die. Now we no longer even try with them, so we can't be reported to the SPCA.

    We can keep our dogs and cats healthy and happy for 15 years or longer, but can't seem to manage a fish. LOL!

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  19. Anna, the storm fizzled out for us. YAY!!!


    I see you have begun a personal blog. Can't wait to see what you post. :D

    Hugs, JJ

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  20. Hey Max, just to add few words. It is nice that you took care of your baby brother. I really it is a good thing. My nephew has 2 years younger sister, they fight but on the end he always stick by her, and proud of her. I think in general we all get sick due to mental health and stress. That is why I would love to be stress free. Applies for all humans, animals, when we get stressed our immune system becomes weaker thus we get sick. Thanks Max for your continuous support of my blogs. Anna :)

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  21. Will you are funny, but it may be true that the fish from the pet store is already old. My first one survived over 3 years, and my moms over 5 years, and my sister's in law over 8 years. I think you should investigate your pet store, may be they have strategy, so you keep coming back, lol. Good to hear that your dogs and cats have such a high life span. Anna :)

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  22. JJ glad to hear that winter just missed you, btw have nothing on my agenda yet, but I am thinking, lol. Thanks JJ for dropping by, Anna :)

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  23. Adorable Anna,

    Thank you; but you know what: I can't help it; even when my brothers annoys me (cause that's what brothers do lol), I still take care of him :).

    You are absolutely right concerning the relationship between stress and health *bowing*!

    You are most welcome, dear :D!

    Cheers

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  24. Max hey we need contrast in our lives, I have the same issues - we fight and we love each other, lol, balances us all and takes the monotone from our lives - I think we were designed to be like that. Thanks for all your post, appreciated. Anna :)

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  25. Just small update: after 2 weeks of suffering my blue beta fish died [February 16, 2008]. I know it is only fish, but I will miss him.

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  26. Oh Anna,

    I am so sorry about that, darling :(!
    We always miss our pets, trust me...I have been through so many similar situations *nodding*!

    Solidary Hugs

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  27. Hi Max, thanks. The sad part is it is my third blue one. I am now left with red beta fish, and it is not the same personality. Something about blue ones. Oh well, may be it was old age and he had to go. Its hard to own pets because of their life span, unless it is a parrot that lives for 60 years, lol. Thanks Max for all, Anna :)

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  28. Anna,

    Maybe blue ones required more attention than the red ones...
    Or dogs, they can last for 12 years minimum...

    No need to thank me, darling! It is my true pleasure ;D!

    Cheers

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  29. Awhhhhhhh... this story was so relevant you would not even understand.. I had a red and blue betta fish and the same senario happened. My blue betta is currently tilted to one side...I will miss him if any thing happens to him..Trouble is his name he loved to jump for his food...and always provked Butterfly (the red betta)...I love them both like

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  30. Anonymous, what a coincidence! Thanks for sharing your story. Once fish is sick there is not much hope, or not much you can do. Unfortunately, I think my red one died because was lonely! Thanks again, Anna :)

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And now lets hear your blobbing, lol!